On a normal day, I will burp, scratch and fart. I could also have unshaved armpits and eyebrows that last got worked on by a cavewoman. But, then there are these days when I transform into a lady. Clean, plucked and smooth. Like a featherless chicken. And that does not sound very appealing by a very far stretch of imagination. Ok, let stick to I look rather nice.
And then on those days, I will meet men who do the cutest things. Things that make me go aww and I want to jump off my chair and hand him the ‘Get into her pants’ card.
Now, if you know me, you know im not the very aww kind of person. Like drooly babies don’t make me go aww. Nor do furry pups. You get the idea. Mush isn’t exactly my thing. So, just imagine how haplessly cute these things that men do are. See how I smartly juxtapose other cute things to further the cuteness of men? Also, notice my ability to make strange and complex sentences that leaves my readers clueless about the point im trying to make. Now without rambling, these are the things men do that I think are adorable.
1) When they like/love you, they will put their arm around your waist and gently pull you closer. (We are operating under the assumption that you have a waist that doesn’t need Kanoons haath to go around it) It feels like you are the only one in the world for them.
Except the lady in skirt behind you with those yummy legs and that cleavaged bitch on the right, he seems to have eyes only for you.
2) Try going for a trek or a climb with a rocky terrain. Watch him watch out for you. And use every opportunity to hold your hand. I know. Cute. Except when you are trying to tackle a rather massive rock and hes heaving under your butt trying to get you to push your leg over the ledge. I am purely guessing here but hairy butt cracks and yellow teddy bear chaddis might just put him off a little bit.
3) All his friends are gathered around him, ready to blow. The candles on his birthday cake. Really, you pervert brains. He looks up and waits. Spots you smiles and calls you next to him. Holds you and then cuts this cake. You glow radiantly. And then he smashes some cake into your face. Yeah, they never know when to stop.
4) You are wobbling in your heels and your feet are threatening to collapse in protest. Your thong sits uncomfortably between your cheeks, itching your rectum. Not helping things. That’s when he bends down, pulls off your sandals and squeezes your foot gently. Aah. Bliss. (Writer shudders in orgasm and waits for spasm to pass)
5) You wake up, groggy and your breath smelling like fish, your hair matted around your face like overcooked noodles and he still thinks you look like a million bucks. He stares, smiles at you and kisses you forehead. Adorable. Aww.
That’s why I don’t mind one. Or two.