Monday, February 16, 2009


There are mild irritants, like flies and mosquitoes (has anyone figured out why we need these pesky blood suckers?) and then there are major irritants like other humans. It’s not them per se, it’s their ideas. And sometimes, it’s them. Actually, it’s mostly them. It irritates me that these people exist.

Point being, I am very bugged with somethings. And as always, it is imperative that I list these buggers out, for two reasons. First, because I love listing, as has been previously established and two, because my voice needs to be heard or seen. More because I like listing, just so we are clear on this.

Bugger 1- The permanent hard-oned moral police

Seriously, these sick fuckers have their heads so up their asses, all they can see is shit. And slowly, every city in India seems to have these beasts roaming freely on the streets. And it pisses me off that they think they are the watchdogs of “Indian culture.” Culture, is about values and respecting traditions. It’s not about what you wear or where you go. Or about what you eat. We don’t have to go around touching every leery uncle’s feet and wear saris to prove we are Indian. So, fuck you guys. I am sending you guys an extra-pink chaddi.

Bugger 2 ¬ The Luser

Which is the very long word user. Some blogs I visit (not regularly, very taxing) or happen to stumble upon leave me missing my dictionary with acute longing. The blogger is clearly catering to a niche audience (by niche i mean the ones who were forced by parents to eat a dictionary and other abused people.) They use words like tantamount. They use my entire vocab in one sentence. Who reads these blogs? And why?

Bugger 3 – The half-empty glassers

Yes, its recession. The freshly unemployed are looking deranged, the employed are staring furtively at the unemployed and effectively, everyone is worried shitless. At this point, I think a good plan is parking your ass at work, spending less time staring at your colleague’s tits and pushing yourself to the point where you are getting some work done, like getting a whole word document typed. But, then come sauntering along the smug employed. Mostly found in a hysterical state, these guys will tell anyone who is listening (or not) about how they heard about several thousand people getting the kick, about how some people cant get their two-year old obese child medication and junk food and how his wife is now poor and cant afford that Prada bag. The SE is will also drown out any voice of sanity that may as much as imply that things aren’t as bad as they look. They look at you with pity when you say rumours are making the whole situation more grim. They stare at you, clucking at your stupidity and wonder loudly if you are functioning in an alternate reality. Seriously, talking about this isn’t going to make it go away or make it better. It’s ok. You live through this, just like you live through everything else.

Phew! It feels good to vent. So, its that bad, huh?

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