I am high-maintenance.
I want to be your priority. Not an option. Not number 2 on your list. You wouldn’t like it any other way from me right?
DON’T TAKE ME FOR GRANTED. I don’t take nicely to it. At all. I will not understand if you have to save the world when you can be spending time with me. You can never be busy enough to not call me or message me throughout the day. Basically sweety, cut the crap.
I have a temper. I am telling you now so you don’t pretend you didn’t know what you were getting into. If I am pissed off, be nice and give me attention. Don’t get angry back at me. I have a gun and I am not afraid to use it.
If you want this badly enough, work on it.
I want to be treated like a princess. Do you have a problem with that?
I don’t like bad attitude. Should I tell you where to put it or will you just understand on your own?
You need intelligence. A lot of it. If you don’t know where Machu Picchu is or what it is, or what caviar actually is, don’t waste my time. I am no good with stupid.
If you don’t have patience, I don’t either. While we would be a potent competition, I am likely to be more aggressive than you and might bite your head off. Fine, make that I WILL bite your head off.
If you think you can tame me, think again.
I am loud, vivacious and completely crazy. If you have to been seen with certain people behaving a certain way, you will probably have to sedate me. On the other hand, you could just learn to join in the fun.
I like trying out new things. I will experiment with food and with life. If you would rather sit at home and pollute the earth with your farts, we are simply not meant to be. What a loss.
I like being kissed on the forehead and being kissed deeply. I like you staring into my eyes with love.
If you speak good English (grammatically correct), smell divine, can carry on a great conversation and have minty fresh breath, you have got me weak-kneed and drooly. I am now playdoh in your hands. Throw in some romance and I will give you something to talk about for a long, really long time.
If you meet all of the above and I fall in love with you, I will go till the ends of the earth to make you happy.
Now, if you aren’t exhausted and are a man, court me.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
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